#'youre so wound up in your identity that youre not coherent' these guys are very interesting to listen in on

[grinchwrapsupreme]

Listening in on two guys talking about queer theatre (i think) and one is talking about a director he knows who hates the term queer because he still considers it purjorative and has no interest in reclaiming it and the guy here in the cafe said that he had forgotten there were people who were in that camp and how "you cant offend me because im more interested in learning" and its genuinely interesting to hear what ive only really heard in internet discourse in real life especially from a couple middle aged men in like a practical context

[dikiyvter]

23 & 31? :eye: for either or both

Of course aid anything 4 u <3

Uncommon Questions [ accepting ]

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

For Gio: Envy is... kind of a scale of ugliness for Gio, to be honest. First and foremost his envy is typically not something ugly; It's typically something that turns more into a hopeful longing other than any sort of truly resentful behavior. Just because he wants what someone else has doesn't mean that he needs to take it from them necessarily; the world is not a pie to be split among it's inhabitants. He views the world as an endless wealth, and if he wants something someone else has, all he has to do is work to get it himself. Ultimately his longing to be human and to take a quiet role in human society spawns from envy of the lives that humans lead.

... And then there's the far uglier envy. Gio is a rather childish individual who experiences emotions very strongly; In part this is subconscious acting, and in part it's genuine truth; He's really never been good at things regarding emotions primarily because he's never been taught a whole lot in regards to control of ones emotions or ways to manage them. He's a bit... emotionally stunted but more in the 'seems like an erratic mood swing-y mess because he feels very strongly' sense and less, you know, [gestures at Baal and Zhongli]. There is thus always a chance that when Gio becomes envious of something, his first reaction is that of intense resentment towards whoever it is that has what he doesn't- This is partially true even for his love of humanity. Even though he starts off with the thought of "this is beautiful" it was still interlaced with a lot of bitter resentment that he would never really have that; Coming to terms with his worldview is what got rid of that. But it's a bit harder to have a mentality of 'the world isn't a pie; someone having a bigger slice than me doesn't mean i can't have more if i want it' when its... say...

A person whom you love whose fallen for another or is having all of their time taken up by them.

For Riga: ...Riga gets a much shorter paragraph and for that I apologize, but I have a lot more thoughts regarding Gio on this subject considering that lil clowns got a lot of conflictions and nuance to ramble about. Riga, on the other hand, tends to be far more simplistic in the things he is feeling and how he is feeling them; though this isn't to say he feels any less strongly or erratically than Gio does.

Rigatello typically feels envy as a genuinely ugly awful emotion that typically results not just in resentment but in a very, very intense form of frustration. A major part of his character is that he is someone who wants very little, but the few things he does want are things he perceives more as needs; Case in point being he doesn't perceive wanting Gio to care about him as being a want, he sees it as a need, and when your needs are denied you become... what? Angry. Frustrated. Depressed. Envy turns him violent, because why should others have what's rightfully his? Why are others entitled to the few things he truly needs? Why is he not deserving of these things? There's a tangible cycle to a lot of Rigatellos emotions, and it's that he is confronted with something ( or someone ) he wants; He becomes reliant, he thinks he needs them ( using gio as an example; He cannot imagine who he is without Gio nearby. He cannot imagine himself in the hierarchy that is set between them both and Dottore without Gio there, because Gio has always been the one to provide a release of tension, even if the relationship the two of them shared was at times very far from healthy; The change of something he sees as being integral to his identity and his place in his little corner of society is something that throws him VERY badly; Rigatello is someone very afraid of any meaningful change because the fear of what comes next and that change leading to potential failure is one that haunts him ) ; They move away from him, and he panics, because he has very little and thus clings desperately to what few things he has; Cue the cycle of seeing that which he 'needs' with someone else, being angry, being frustrated, falling down the rabbit hole of wondering why he isn't worthy, arriving at depression, resparking that frustration, and... repeat.

A lot of his envy spawns almost purely from a place of this frustration-depression loop of wondering why he isn't good enough-- something that ties in heavily with the way he was 'raised', where threats of being scrapped were thrown freely, and any failure could potentially result in his literal destruction.

Wait this wound up being longer than Gios. Whoops.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Okay here's where we ease into me being able to make coherent sentences again bc i'm not bound purely by my muses emotions <3

For Gio, It would be Venti, in more ways than one. First he had technically met Barbatos. The ideal Barbatos gifted to Mondstadt that rubbed off on the freshly-created and quite impressionable Gio; It was Mondstadt and their talk of freedom that lit the little fire that eventually turned into Gio pursuing his autonomy and humanity. Then was the archon; Barbatos gave his vision to him, and without that Gio never would have managed to escape Dottore, and if he didn't currently have it he wouldn't have been able to evade capture for this long. It also served as a constant reminder of Mondstadts ideals -- And not just that, but the special shape that the vision takes has always been a symbol that although Snezhnaya was his home-- Mondstadt was where he belonged. Then came Venti; Someone who made him feel welcomed in Mondstadt when he was initially very nervous about being there. He and Venti became dear friends ( possibly more ) and now that's someone he looks forward to every time he's on his way back to Mondstadt. The city truly feels like home to him now, and that's mostly because of Venti-- and even if his friend doesn't wish to be seen as Barbatos the archon, Gio cannot help the appreciation he feels for those previous actions, nor for the general ideals that Venti / Barbatos inhabit.

For Riga, that would be Lio, no contest. It.. it would take me ten years to explain all of Rigatellos feelings towards Lio there's so much shit at play they mesh so fucking well together their traumas and mentalities are such similar echoes, Lio is literally the only person in the world that Rigatello has felt genuine love and affection for and not in some way panicked and tried to burn the bridge before it could burn him; He feels genuinely safe and happy with Lio, and the fear that constantly haunts him is eased in their presence; He trusts not just Lio but himself, the fear he typically fears when he touches others is gone because they trust him so thoroughly that in the midst of their love it's hard to be afraid of himself. He feels for once that he can be something that protects instead of something that exclusively does damage; He feels cared for, wanted, loved, when all his life he's felt rejected and constantly on the brink of destruction. Where he once was told his wants and thoughts don't matter he has now found someone who cares very much for what he wants and what he thinks and FUCK I have a lot of thoughts about these two.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Oh god, here's another thing I can't fully explain.

For Gio: Immensely. Gios current mentality is essentially that if he just closes his eyes and refuses to think about it then he doesn't have to deal with his flaws, and if anyone points them out he can just get mad about it and avoid them until he dies because he does. not. want. to. think. about. it. He HATES feeling bad, he hates feeling negatively about himself, he doesn't... know how to genuinely change things about himself; And I think that. That itself can be very much shown in how he treats the fact that he's not human? A person? Yes, he's a fully sentient person with his own thoughts and expressions and free will, a human? Not exactly. He's made out of metal and circuitry and artificial materials, and this is simply a factual statement, its not opinion; But he almost treats it like it is. He sees this idealized version of humanity that he wishes to be a part of but he cannot fathom how he can be apart of it if the core thing about himself isn't changed, but its NOT something he can change; Instead of accepting that, however, and still going on with his goal to pursue his autonomy and humanity despite this, Gio would... honestly rather stick his fingers in his ears and go "lalala" because he doesn't really have the toolset to mentally deal with the contradiction of "I want to be human but I can't". He perceives a need to change that isn't there, and instead of trying to address it he ignores it entirely in hopes that... it'll just stop being an issue that he needs to address with himself at some point. The same mentality applies to a lot of his flaws. Does he know hes being avoidant of his problems? Does he know that it's going to cause more issues in the future? He does. But he can't even address it with himself because it makes him feel bad, let alone with someone else who could actually provide him with skills that he needs to change his behaviors and mentality.

For Riga: Okay he genuinely gets a shorter paragraph this time because in short? Rigatello doesn't care. Admittedly he kind of wears his flaws on his sleeve. He's a "says it right on the tin" kind of guy most of the time, where he's typically mostly open about the less positive parts of himself-- If not exaggerating them as a means of keeping people away. There are of course the flaws that he hides due to them stemming from traumas, and his general desire to hide all things relating to his personal thoughts and feelings-- But this in and of itself could be perceived as a flaw, though one very unexplored considering Lio is his first close relationship with another person where he's been in any form open about his own thoughts and feelings, away from the influence of Dottore or the Fatui.

Rigatello does have... slightly less healthy perception of what counts as flaws in himself, though, such as having his own thoughts and emotions. He perceives his traumas as weakness, and weakness is a flaw, to him-- So too, then, are his traumas. He's not sensitive about this in the sense that Gio is where he's willfully ignoring something he's doing wrong; Riga doesn't... know that this isn't a good mentality. He.

Riga is kind of hard to explain this regard because of how severely impacted Rigatello is by the traumas hes endured, the people he was 'raised' by, and the current lifestyle that he leads. His emotional understanding is extremely limited and always has been, and I'm not entirely sure how to put it in coherent wording; Because typically when I try to talk about Riga and emotions it devolves into word vomit because his thoughts are just... nonsense screaming pain mush that he doesn't know how to cope with so he tells himself to toughen up, shoves it in the closet, and goes on with his day until he can lay down at night and have a meltdown--

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Honestly? The general rule of thumb is that I don't typically write people that I myself would get along with, if only because I know way too much about my own characters and their flaws? When. I look at people that I get along with, its primarily people who are patient enough to deal with my memory issues and my general lets say... low iq, to be nice. They're mostly laid back people who don't give too much of a shit one way or the other, but are friendly and fun to talk to because they have interesting ideas to contribute to a conversation, give room for others to contribute, and don't mind a bit of chaos when things inevitably devolve.

When I look at the characters I write... They all have some sort of flaw that directly contradicts the core things I typically find in someone I get along well with?

Gio is someone who I think I could get along with for a while; But inevitably his flaws, his distress regarding those flaws, and his subsequent refusal to acknowledge them in any meaningful form would inevitably stress me out and it would start to get tiring.

Bluntly put Riga is scary and I feel like I'd be stressed out 24/7 that I'm going to irritate him... And his general mindset of emphasizing his own flaws to push people away would just make me angry and I'd probably wind up letting him isolate himself because, having once been someone who was very much that way, I no longer deal well with that degree of self-pitying behavior b/c it pisses me off.

Outside of this blog, Ku Shen and I could probably get along pretty well, but I think the issue is that he's a massive introvert who would go Weeks in-between texting, and I have the memory of a goldfish and i'd inevitably find myself in a position where i have a text from him that's been waiting for me to answer for the past week and I'm too nervous to reply because I feel awkward being like 'hi i have untreated adhd sorry', and then suddenly three months has passed and I just can never talk to this man again.

...I'm going to include my Morax on here as well even though it's blog isn't super active; Look I might actually be able to chill with Morax if only because we vibe in either 'i am listening to you ramble for 3 straight hours with occasional questions or commentary' or 'we have both been dead fucking silent for the past 3 hours' and these are both my ideal ways to exist in someone elses presence. Also I feel like it'd wanna do fun shit and likes going on walks or smth. 10/10 I think I could get along with Morax.

H) What trait do you admire most?

Ah fuck okay. Uh. For Gio... I admire his optimism and hope. I consider myself to be a generally hopeful person but I'm not typically the kind of like... ~ * direct action * ~ person, and Gio VERY MUCH IS in most regards. He's generally super fucking ambitious and if he WANTS something he will GET IT and you cannot STOP HIM and I just wish I had that level of

I. Dedication II. Energy III. Optimism in actually completing the goal

For Riga? I guess it would be his general tenacity and endurance. He goes through. A lot of shit. Constantly. And he just keeps trudging on forward without pause. He does what he needs to do, and if you get in the way of him and what he needs to get done, then he'll make you fucking regret it. Top tier shit 10/10 good for him.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1316

Monday, March 8, 2021

 Coming up on a year since the pandemic started. I hope you're all healthy and safe. I am hopeful that vaccines will be deployed widely and help us all feel less anxious. I am fortunate enough to be one of those people who is happy as a bug snug in a rug while self isolating. I do really miss my dear friends and family but hugs can wait until we're all vaccinated.

 My thanks to Doug for lending me these comic books to read.

 Batman Annual #5 - James Tynion IV (writer) James Stokoe (art) Clayton Cowles (letters). It's the origin of Clownhunter and it's not very original. If I had to pay $4.99 US I would have passed on this and lived with leaving a hole in my Batman collection. If you're not familiar with this new vigilante, he's an Asian teenager named Bao who decides he's going to kill the Joker and all of the villain's sycophants. The reason he becomes Clownhunter (and killer) is very mundane. I wish they could have come up with a new motivator. Maybe the philosophical discussion about what to do about the Joker might interest some fans but I found this story quite tedious. I also didn't like the way Bao and his parents were portrayed. Did they really have an Asian saying "Ah, so"? Yes they did on page 8. Shades of Charlie Chan, Batman. I was not offended, just disappointed.

 Batman/Catwoman #3 - Tom King (writer) Clay Mann (art) Tomeu Morey (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). I was thrilled to see the town of Port Orange, Florida mentioned on the first page. My pal Al lives there. It's also where Selina finally catches up with the Joker and does what Batman never did. I love this Black Label book taking familiar characters and treating them in a new and interesting way. Here's a future where Selina has survived her husband Bruce's death and their daughter Helena is the new Batwoman. Now I wait to see how mother and daughter deal with the Angel of Death.

 And now, more Future State books.

 Future State: Robin Eternal #2 - Meghan Fitzmartin (writer) Eddy Barrows (pencils) Eber Ferreira (inks) Adriano Lucas (colours) Pat Brosseau (letters). The consequence of Tim Drake/Robin being dunked in Lazarus resin is that now he's immortal. Whoop-dee-doo. Not only is this a boring Robin beats up bad guys issue but the art lacked any logical perspective. This issue takes place on a train but you would think it's in a huge building based on the art. I know it's comic books but I hate when one doesn't make visual sense. I think that's just laziness.

 Future State: Kara Zor-El Superwoman #1 & #2 - Marguerite Bennett (writer) Marguerite Sauvage (art) Wes Abbott (letters). This 2-issue fairy tale was not meant for old farts like me and Doug. With it's soft pastel colours these books should have included glitter and bubblegum flavoured lip gloss. Maybe young tween girls will like this. The moral of this story is "no one is born wise".

 Future State: Dark Detective #3 - Mariko Tamaki (writer) Dan Mora (art) Jordie Bellaire (colours) Aditya Bidikar (letters). There are not one but two Batmans in this issue. You've got Bruce in his new capeless costume but here he's wearing a trench coat to give that fluttering effect, and then there's the new guy in the Bat suit, cape and all. The "uh-oh" point of the story hits here when the bad guys discover where Bruce is hiding out. The Matthew Rosenberg (writer) Carmine Di Giandomenico (art) Antonio Fabela (colours) & AndWorld Design (letters) Grifter story concludes here too with a double cross and a whole lot more of Helena/Huntress. This is my favourite Future State book so far.

 Future State: Superman of Metropolis #1 & #2 - Sean Lewis (writer) John Timms (art) Gabe Eltaeb (colours) Dave Sharpe (letters). If you're wondering how a grown up Jonathan Kent takes over for his dad as Metropolis's protector then these two $5.99 US books will satisfy your curiosity. The villain of the story is an evolved Brainiac who is a big multi-mouthed ball now. Metropolis is shrunk ala the bottle city of Kandor, the citizens go nuts but Jon returns things back to normal in the end with the help of Kara/Supergirl. I don't know why Kara's a girl in this story and a woman elsewhere. Each issue has two back-ups so you get your money's worth. One features Mister Miracle and the other the Guardian. They are both dealing with bad things inside the bottled Metropolis. You won't miss much if you don't read them. The Mister Miracle story "The Metropolis Menagerie" is done my Brandon Easton (writer) Valentine De Landro (art) Marissa Louise (colours) Dave Sharpe (letters). The Guardian story is brought to you by Sean Lewis (writer) Cully Hamner & Michael Avon Oeming (art) Laura Martin (colours) AndWorld Design (letters). This one got me excited because a villain wants to throw Jimmy Olsen off of the Daily Planet building.

 Future State: Catwoman #2 - Ram V (writer) Otto Schmidt (art) Tom Napolitano (letters). Read this to find out if Catwoman saves the lives of the people on the train. You will also find out if Bruce is freed from the bad guys. Talia Al-Ghul appearing is the deus ex machina in this story. I like the new Cheshire and Onomatopoeia is always fun.

 Future State: Superman: Worlds of War #2 - Phillip Kennedy Johnson (writer) Mikel Janin (art) Jordie Bellaire (colours) & Dave Sharpe (letters). In "The Many Deaths of Superman" the Man of Steel fights in the arena of Warworld where Mongul resurrects him after every death match. It's the typical brutal battle scenes and super villain gloating. What's more compelling is an old newspaper story that Clark Kent wrote that inspired a young woman who travels to Smallville. I was totally confused by the three back-up stories featuring Mister Miracle, Midnighter and the Black Racer because they were not very good. I am a completist and have to finish what I start. I could have stopped reading after the $3.99 US main story in this bloated $7.99 US comic book  but my obsessive compulsive nature wouldn't let me. It's a character flaw I wish I could change.

 Future State: The Next Batman #1 - John Ridley (writer) Nick Derington (art) Tamra Bonvillain (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). All the teasers for this book hyped the fact that this Batman is black. You won't get the secret identity in this first issue but there are a bunch of likely candidates. Lucas Fox is a possibility but it's confusing because he's a bad guy in another Future State book. This is another $7.99 US book with back-ups. These are more coherent than the ones in Future State: Superman: Worlds of War.

Future State: Outsiders by Brandon Thomas (writer) Sumit Kumar (pencils) Sumit Kumar & Raul Fernandez (inks) Jordie Bellaire (colours) & Steve Wands (letters) gathers together some old Batman associates helping Gotham City citizens escape persecution by the Magistrates outside Gotham City's borders. Get it? It was nice seeing Katana in action.

Future State: Arkham Knights by Paul Jenkins (writer) Jack Herbert (art) Gabe Eltaeb (colours) & Rob Leigh (letters) gathers together some of Batman's rogues gallery to fight the oppressive Magistrate. Two-Face, Mr. Zsasz, Dr. Phosphorus, Killer Croc and other ex-inmates of Arkham Asylum are being lead by an armoured Astrid Arkham. It's super villains being super heroes.

 Future State: The Next Batman #2 - John Ridley (writer) Nick Derington (breakdowns) Laura Braga (art) Arif Prianto (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). We learn the secret identity of the new caped Batman in this issue. It's Lucas Fox's brother. He has a brother? This also has three new back-up stories.

"Batgirls" is by Vita Ayala (writer) Aneke (art) Trish Mulvihill (colours) & Becca Carey (letters). Batgirl/Orphan Cassandra Cain gets locked up in the Magistrate Detention Facility where both good guys/white hats and bad guys/black coats are incarcerated. She got caught on purpose because her mission is to find Oracle and Batman and free them. She gets help from Spoiler who is queen of the inmates. In this reality Cass is way more articulate than she used to be. I didn't like that. I also didn't like that in the other Future State stories the Magistrate foot soldiers have a shoot to kill order for any masks that they encounter. Why are all of these masks alive? Anyways, this part ends with the white hats and black coats forming an alliance so Cass can get on with her mission.

"Gotham City Sirens: Ladies' Night Out" is by Paula Sevenbergen (writer) Rob Haynes (breakdowns) Emanuela Lupacchino (pencils) Wade von Grawbadger (inks) John Kalisz (colours) Becca Carey (letters). Catwoman and Poison Ivy spring a domestic droid named Dee Dee (get it?) from servitude and they have a night on the town at a bar. The bar is run by Sam Bradley and both super heroes and villains can imbibe in peace. Fans of Sex and the City may like this. Not a lot of drama until the last page when the joint is raided by Magistrate goons and major characters are shot.

 Future State: The Next Batman #3 - John Ridley (writer) Nick Derington (breakdowns) Laura Braga (art) Arif Prianto (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). This is the "uh-oh" moment in the story where the hero is felled by the villain. A wounded Batman is attacked by the murderer he's trying to bring to justice. I saw that coming.

I like the change with Black Lightning in the Outsiders back-up.

I like the art in the Arkham Knights back-up even though the dialogue is eye roll inducing.

 Future State: The Next Batman #4 - Jace/Batman lives, as if that was in any doubt. This story would have been a lot more interesting if Bruce/Batman was really dead. Even if the Future State line of comics dies out this Next Batman is a cop out. The Batgirls story ends with Cassandra/Orphan saving Barbara/Oracle and the Resistance gaining ground on the Magistrates. The Gotham City Sirens story ends with Catwoman and Poison Ivy helping the Resistance get an advantage in their war with the Cybers thanks to Dee Dee.

 I admit that I was sucked in by the hype for this mini. The Next Batman being black intrigued me. The story itself was meh and I would not have missed anything by not reading it. I was not engaged as a mature reader but I think someone in their teens might like all the stories in these four issues.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

The David trilogy.... *Inhales* That was a wild ride. And I have Opinions about this arc, most of them I am currently unable to present in a coherent manner. I feel like this is one of the arcs where we see a much darker side of the Animorphs (speaking in relative terms) 1/?

Like Marco and Rachel straight up bullied the kids, Ax was ruthless when it to the very end with counting down time. Also I'm pretty sure it was the first time Jake used physical violence to keep a team member under control. And CASSIE HOLY SHITE. I'm not sure if Tobias did anything that stood out to me but I was definitely surprised by some of the other Animorphs 2??

Like Rachel, Jake and Ax I understand on some sort of level. But Cassie and Marco? Especially when Marco was in David's position at the very beginning (as in he didn't want to fight the war) and Cassie... like especially after Book 19 I didn't expect this level of ruthlessness from her. And she was so very ruthless.3/?

Also!! Rachel!!! And her emotions!!! About being manipulated by Jake!!! And her realisation of who (or what) she is!!! And her maybe sort of acceptance of her place in the team and what she's turning into!!!! Are very important!!! As is her emotion response about Tobias being hurt. Also it just struck me, how old are these kids now? Like 14? And basically having to make 4/?

this awful choice between compassion and the need for secrecy. Kinda effed up. And thoughts on David.... The whole set up of the Arc was to set him up as a raging douchebag. Which he was. Totally and utterly. But looking back on it, he was a desperate kid who had lost his parents and was suddenly thrust into the awful war and whose only friends were a group of kids who 5/?

were tbh kinda d*cks to him. I understand where he was coming from. And as said before we were meant to be suspicious of (The killing of the crow) but at the end of the day it was a ruthless and cruel thing to do. And from my standpoint something completely necessary. It's still very haunting thinking about Davids fate. On that island hearing the screams of a young boy. 6/7

Anyway great arc loved it. 7/7

This is SUCH a solid breakdown of the David arc, and, listen, honestly the David trilogy--I love it so much you guys, like, I could talk for hours about it.

Like, for example, I generally believe that, entirely disregarding what the Animorphs do to him (which...that’s some dark shit, and honestly I think it represents a certain turning point, a moral event horizon they can never really return from, and I also think some of their actions, especially Cassie’s, later in the series, come from a place of trying and screwing up horribly in the process), David is...

Well.  He’s a killer.  He’s a sociopath.  This kid’s a bad one.  Beyond everything he does to the Animorphs, he definitely murdered Saddler, right--Saddler’s body is totally discovered a day or two later in the elevator shaft.  Forget anything else: David committed premeditated murder of a severely wounded child who was entirely uninvolved in the little war David was waging against the Animorphs, with the intent of stealing that child’s identity and life.  And David is like maybe fourteen.  

I’m gonna write a fic about how terrible and nightmarish the knowledge of someone like that being able to steal your face is.

[romijuli]

okay let’s get to work on the more spoilery stuff, since IDK if i’m actually gonna write this fic. this one begins with some background info. (content warning for discussed oc death and/or injury)

Okay. So. Back when Razz was a newbie, a battle went...pretty badly. And when I say pretty badly, I mean it. Out of the five team members, three of them - Razz, former team leader Cocoa (briefly mentioned in the previous post), and an unnamed unimportant third Mew - made it out, banged up but generally okay. One of them, Mew Cherry, wound up in really rough shape; she survived, of course, but fights like that don’t leave you unscathed if you get hit hard enough, and she wound up losing sight in one eye and was paralyzed from the waist down. (Still able to fight, mind you! Accommodations are possible, of course, it’s sci-fi at the end of the day, and also I Said So.)

And one of them - Mew Caramel, aka Kara Emerson - uh, didn’t make it out.

Honestly, most Mews just assume that when they leave the team, it’s by choice; yeah, sure, stuff like this happens but it’s once in a blue moon. It’s one thing to hear horror stories, of battles that ended with someone battered or worse, but it’s another thing to see it outright. It, uh. Didn’t treat any of them well.

Cherry took a break to heal, and ultimately chose not to return to active duty, taking a job as mission control instead. Unnamed Mew lasted a few more missions before opting to retire. Cocoa, of course, is a Career Mew and is willingly here for life, but she definitely distanced herself after that point. It hurts less if you treat each other like distant coworkers rather than friends, right?

And sometimes your newest Mew freaks the FUCK out and goes, uh, okay, well, maybe if I side with the bad guys in secret then if they kill the rest of humanity I won’t die.

Yeah. Razz is a little bit fucked up, and since the story is from her POV her depictions of the other characters’ personalities and general attitudes towards Mew duty aren’t...quite up to snuff. It’s also a LARGE part of the reason why the team’s kinda fragmented; Razz thinks she’s in a grimdark MG show where it’s everyone for themselves, rather than a more typical one where the power of friendship does, actually, help.

As far as skewed perceptions courtesy of Razz go, take Blue, for example. Perfectly responsible, a pretty solid fit for leader, and honestly Razz says her gf should have been leader...except Blue has a very bad habit of seeing things pretty black-and-white. It’s all rose-colored glasses until they make it very clear that they’re not actually her friend, at which point the illusions shatter and the red flags reveal themselves. A lot of battles have gone a little more sideways because she’s perpetually offering enemies a chance to reform even when they’re trying to kill her. (It worked in Tokyo!)

Plum really does have a temper problem, and really is stubborn to a fault, but it’s a problem she’s actively working on, at least in situations where being stubborn isn’t actually a good thing. She’s not exactly happy about the idea that Razz used her hotheadedness to cause a (further) divide in the team and threw both her and Kale under the bus.

Hey, did you recognize Mew Caramel’s last name up there? Yeah. Saying CC doesn’t know what she’s getting into or that she doesn’t take it seriously does an immense disservice to her, considering she specifically joined to avenge her older sis. She knows why she’s here and what could go wrong. She also knows how the team operated when her sister was alive, and she’s 90% certain things are way better when they work as a unit. (CC’s the main POV once people catch on to what Razz is doing.)

Poor Kale, honestly. All she did was join the team and Razz went out of her way to make her look bad to cover her own tracks. god i had more coherent notes on this earlier.

OH i forgot to note this in the earlier post. CC is the only one of the Mews on this team whose identity is public knowledge! Hard to hide when your first battle begins by you yelling THIS IS FOR MY SISTER YOU ASSHOLE and slamming a gust of wind at some smug alien

HELLO I am tossing you a card to talk about an OC (or multiple OCs) of your choice >:D

oh oops i forgot to reply to this. too busy figuring out what oc to do.

ACTUALLY since i've been thinking about them nonstop, i'm gonna talk about my tmm ocs that have existed for like six wholeass years. back when the reboot was just a dream...anyway i love these kids i'm gonna shove razz in a locker.

also tsu i have NO clue if you've watched/read tokyo mew mew so if you haven't this is gonna make like no sense. whoops. (go watch it it's good) (or at least read that one post where i ranted about how funny the love interest is i love him)

Keep reading

[redribbons09]

Why do you not like Rise in Persona?

Hoo, boy.  I was expecting an ask about my opinions on characters someday, but I never thought it’d be this soon, nor was it about why I don’t like a character.  I mean, I’m just a tiny art blog in the corner who loves reblogging food, gaming stuff, cute stuff, and diamond boys and wolf husbands.

However, send me a polite question, and I’ll be sure to answer as coherently and as politely as I can.  

WARNING: This is an extremely long post with an opinion.  If you cannot handle that I have a different opinion to you, sorry, but that’s your problem.  It’s very much possible to disagree and be polite about it, but if you’re going to be passive-aggressive or whine, it won’t change my thoughts at all.  On the contrary - it’ll just make me more resolute.  

I do apologize if it’s too long, but when it comes to explaining my reasons, I tend to be highly analytical and don’t hold back.  Character analysis is also something I like engaging in, and I do not like thinks half-done.  Also, just in case someone will spout flames or ask again in future, I suppose I’ll just link back to this.

Without further ado, my reasons on why I hate Rise Kujikawa from Persona 4:

- Confusing Social Link (SL)

The first probably will get me flak, but I get flames over something fictional, honestly, I need the heat: it’s winter here in Australia, and I’m freezing my butt off.  What’s sad is that I know what Rise’s SL is supposed to be about: she’s having an identity crisis where she thinks people like Risette and not Rise.  However, I did not get that message.  On the contrary, her SL confused me and denoted to me that she was very ignorant.

In the 3rd link, Rise goes to the city with Yu and is recognized by several people.  When she’s alone with Yu, she gets huffy and goes, “They just never learn!” Excuse me, but what were you expecting? Idols are a big thing in Asia, and you’re out in the open with no disguise. 

Her 4th and 6th links started grinding my gears because she starts throwing tantrums at her manager, Inoue.  But it’s hard for me to sympathize with Rise when she was outright acting like a brat and when Inoue runs away, she says: “I’m his daughter’s age, so he treated me like one of the family…”

Honestly, that strikes me as being ungrateful.  And I say she’s ungrateful because if you look at the life of idols, she had it better.  Hell, I don’t even like idols, but I can still say that I have respect for them in their field.  They not only sing, dance, and perform, but their work schedules are so busy that it’s usual that they only get about 2 hours of sleep and disorders.  It’s worrisome.  Yet, they do this all because they love to perform, for money or fame, and they love their fans.

Cruel or demanding managers aren’t uncommon in the idol industry.  Sadly, it’s very common.  Yet here’s a manager who treats Rise like family, and here she is throwing a tantrum in his face instead of choosing to calmly tell him that no, she’s not going back.  He even just wants Yu to give a fan letter to her, and she fucking screams at him and claims she feels “betrayed” by him.  Uh, you just said that he treats you like family, so excuse him for worrying. Also, it’s especially noteworthy if he, a manager in the idol industry, wants you back since in reality, idols can get easily replaced.

Her 5th link made me facepalm.  She only wanted to be an idol just so she could go on TV and make friends.  Sorry, but if that’s your reason to be an idol, you’re in the wrong profession.  As I mentioned before - being an idol takes a tremendous amount of work to the point of barely getting any sleep, constant activity, and having to deal with obsessive fans, an image (yes, having an image is part of the industry) and rumours.  You’d then wonder why someone would want to be in such an occupation.  Simple: because the person is passionate about what they do.  Some also do it for fame or money and simply use their talents to fuel it.  The good fans are an additional driving force for idols to continue doing what they do.  Either way: those who audition for the occupation know what they’re getting into and how much it requires of them.  However, the world of idol industry is still problematic, but Rise’s SL does not denote that. 

So to hear this from Rise honestly made me feel insulted for idols who do work hard and genuinely want it, and know how much they have to sacrifice.  There are far better ways for you to socialize and get through your bullying - being a public image and entertainer who continuously works is certainly not the way.  And honestly, her bullying backstory just looked like a cheap way to get sympathy.  Especially since we don’t hear why she was being bullied - it’s implied it’s a lack of social skills, but it’s never explicitly mentioned.  Ai Ebihara’s SL link did the bullying background far better.  

My mind basically buzzed in and out link 7 onwards because I didn’t give much of a damn at that point.  Basically, she gets upset she’s replaced by some other idol, Kanami, and starts crying when Inoue reassesses that she was talented and it’s a shame.  She goes on how it’s unfair that he told her how talented she was and had that spark just then, and that made my mind buzz out because sweetie, “Actions speak louder than words.”  Inoue wasted his time (keep in mind he’s a manager in the idol industry - not the president or CEO) to come here and try to convince you back to show biz.  They could’ve easily replaced you straight away with Kanami - you even stated Inoue treated you like family, so I’m just…?

What doesn’t help is her crying that she lost everything.  Uhh…wasn’t this SL supposed to be about you embracing you as yourself? Also, that’s nice: what about Yu? What about the rest of the Investigation Team? What about your grandma? Though she does rectify it when you show comfort, it still left quite a sour taste in my mouth because it’s when you show comfort, which you already would be giving in the previous links, that she realizes this.

Basically, I felt that her SL was very poorly thought out and a huge waste of time.  Plus, I wound up being in a relationship I didn’t agree to just because I showed basic human decency, which leads to my next point…

- Clingy and possessive

As soon as you rescue her, Rise immediately clings onto Yu and will continue being flirtatious, clingy and even pretty possessive.  Call me old-fashioned but excessive flirting that’s not coming from my s/o is not my cup of tea.  Even when you try to be evasive as Yu and/or you’re in a relationship with another girl (I was in one with Yukiko already), Rise will not back off.  

Her flirting with me in just her SL in a nutshell:- 2nd link: asks me what my favourite type of girl is just after eating- 3rd link: dragged me out to go swimsuit hunting and tells me to pay attention to her when she wears it (no thanks)- 4th link: outright said she’ll fucking marry me just to get her manager to back off.  I quickly denied and she still tries to insist with the story by claiming I’m “just shy” (grrrrruuuhhhh).- 5th link: surprisingly nothing- 6th link: brings up the marriage proposal again - take note she even states she knew I wasn’t interested yet she somehow in the 8th link…- 7th link: gets pissy if I simply note a girl is cute.  ”She’s cute, huh…?” - it can be interpreted in any way, but Rise’s response is precise, “That’s not a question you should be asking when I’m standing right here!” (ugghhh…).  - 8th link: started a relationship with me just because I showed basic human decency (ugggghhhh…)- 9th link: nothing interesting considering I was forced into a relationship-10th link: since I had no choice, she’s in my fucking room.  She basically starts searching my room for porn or some crap like that.  I said I don’t keep any (there’s the Internet, yo), and she responds by saying she’ll give me a photo album of her (WRYYYYYYYYYYYY D’8)

Keep in mind: I was already in a relationship with Yukiko.  What sucks is that there aren’t any options to tell her off or say you’re not interested.  And when she breaks down in link 8, you’re given two options: either hold her or stand there.  

Because I don’t like seeing people cry, I opted to hold her.  And instantly I was apparently in a second relationship that I never even fucking wanted or agreed to.  That really pissed me off because seriously? Are you really that desperate you’re going to cling onto a simple hug from someone showing basic human decency as the cue to start a relationship? The only way to apparently get someone to back off is by being a complete asshole to them? Okay, got it.

And it’s not even just her SL, either.  She got pissy when I was hanging out with Ai.  Ai (rightfully) told her to buzz off since it’s none of her business (this also made me start to love Ai), and that she shouldn’t be interrupting a conversation she’s not involved in.  Rise responds, “What’s wrong with you?” at Ai.  Excuse me, but what’s wrong with you? Don’t just come up and blow up at me or my friend just because said friend is a girl.  Yu can’t have hangouts or bro times with girls now? If a girl did that to my guy friend, I’d tell her, plain and simple, to fuck off and that he belonged to nobody.

This also happens in Marie’s link where Rise gets pissy when you’re with Marie and just showing her around.  Bonus points that Rise also gets pissed when Yosuke shows interest in Marie.  Honestly, who gives a fuck if Yosuke’s a Risette fan? You weren’t dating him - hell, you were rejecting his flirtations - and he’s not your property, either.  If he finds a girl cute, so what? You were supposedly not interested in him, and I thought you were interested in your beloved “senpai~!”?

And honestly, by that extension, that makes Rise’s character borderline sexist.  Clinging onto a man and being possessive of him because he rescues you, getting up front in other girl’s faces because he’s with them, continuously chasing and flirting with said man even if he’s already in a relationship, desperately clinging to basic human decency he shows you and having that start a relationship with him even if he doesn’t want it?

It’s also sexist in that it’s a wish fulfillment for “nice” guys who think that if they show a girl basic human decency, it’ll reward him with the girl throwing herself at him and proclaiming her love to him.

- Pointless in the context of the story)

Because story-wise, Rise has no point to the story.  She’s an idol with an identity crisis, and…so? What does that have to do with the murders in Inaba?

Yosuke works at Junes and that’s the group’s meeting place and portal to the Midnight Channel, Yukiko’s family owns the Amagi Inn which is the scene of the first crime, Kanji’s mother owns Tatsumi Textiles which is a lead, Naoto is a detective brought to investigate, Teddie is actually from the Shadow world.  Chie already fills out the extra slot and even provides as Yukiko’s best friend.  So seriously, what is the point of Rise in the story? To be my cheerleader? For moral support? The other characters already give that.

As a result, her inclusion shafts others who had far more potential to her.  Ai Ebihara and Ayane Matsunaga are girls I think would’ve had far more potential since they had more compelling and interesting SL’s, but there’s one other character who I felt got the shortest end of the stick in this situation and that is Naoki Konishi.

Naoki is the younger brother of the second murder victim.  How this boy doesn’t have a major role in the story is beyond me.  Plus, his SL is quite intriguing because it captures grief and coping with the loss of a loved one quite well in retrospect that you can develop a sense of apathy (such as when you get suffocated by pity from others; society’s hypocrisy at loss by alienation or preaching rather than truly supporting; and how apathy can be seen as a defense mechanism).  That could’ve been played so well in the game especially since Nanako almost dies - considering Naoki lost his sister, that would’ve been a very heartbreaking scene.  Plus, Naoki is also quiet, polite and actually quite shy and awkward - he could’ve easily given the Investigation Team a new dynamic and dimension for interaction.   He’s highly wasted potential.  (He’s also voiced by Derek Stephen Prince - I would’ve loved to hear him more) 

Rise, on the other hand, exists only for wish fulfilment.  Since the Persona series is a fantasy where you’re Gary-Stu, Rise fulfills the desire for these fans.  She’s pretty, popular, an idol, flirts with you (excessively), possibly more sexually active in regards to you or is at least willing to give you sexy pictures, practically throws herself at you after you rescued her (power fantasy), and she repays your show of basic human decency with herself.  Honestly, to me, that is highly pathetic.

You can easily give her role of Navigator back to Teddie - no need for another character.  Or give it to Naoki or whoever else has far more potential to the story.

If I wanted sexy girls, I’ll go to HuniePop or Dead or Alive because at least they have a point (fanservice).  If I wanted wish fulfillment, I’d play an otome.

- Other gross behaviour

The Amagi Inn definitely rises to my mind.  People blame Yukiko, and yes, she is partially to blame for not accepting responsibility.  However, it’s Rise who tells the girls that they should be keeping it a secret and encouraging them not to apologize.  So really, the incident is her fault and cemented my hatred that she’s highly irresponsible.

The second one is her treatment towards Kanji.  Say what you will about Yosuke, but I still cannot hate him because:a) He’s a stereotypical teenage boy - that’s how they act: they can be sweet, but they choose to be assholes because it’s more fun and amusing to get a reaction.  So basically, he’s a shit-stirrer.b) The homophobia argument falls flat when you realize he’s a Japanese boy raised in Japan - Japan is still very rigid in terms of gender and sexuality.  Even then, what Yosuke says comes off as teenage behaviour rather than him being purposely malevolent - he does mellow out as the game goes on, and give him a few years when he becomes an adult, he’ll most likely have matured.c) He still gets comeuppance, anyway such as getting beaten up, and Kanji can defend himself.

She shows the same behaviour towards Kanji but she never gets comeuppance.  And I was pissed off at hearing she called Kanji creepy just because he made stuffed plushies. 

In Persona Q, there’s a segment where you almost marry someone (yes, even boys).  I got Theodore (the damn adorable dork), and Rise’s objection to the wedding angered me: 

“Nooooo, not that kind of love! Senpai, look who you’re standing next to! It’s a guy!”

Say what you will about Yosuke, but I’m pretty sure he was never this blatantly homophobic.  Hell, Yosuke, who people accuse of being homophobic, says that "this isn’t the time or place for this [the wedding]."  Compare that to what Rise says, and all I can say is a hearty fuck you.

———————

TL;DR: I hate Rise because:- Her confusing SL where she strikes me as ignorant and a waste of time- Clingy and possessive behaviour- Being borderline sexist since she enters a relationship based on basic human decency- Having no purpose to the story other than blatant wish fulfillment- Her gross behaviour which never results in her being called out for

[gayandgreen]

Barbra Streisand's Speech from the LA Women's March, this is long but undeniably important

Hello Los Angeles! What a beautiful day…what a great country we already live in!

I’m going to start by quoting H. L. Mencken, the journalist, satirist and social critic, who said in 1920: “On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

I’m not sure the minority who voted for Trump are prepared for what is coming next.

But it’s fantastic that so many of you have turned out to speak truth to power.

Truth is the essence of living in a democracy. And yet this newly elected president seems to care very little about it. That worries me.

But I’ll tell you what worries me the most…that’s children. I’m afraid of what they are seeing and hearing these days… It’s ok to lie? It’s ok to brag about sexual assault as just “locker room talk?” To never apologize and always retaliate? To try to silence people and the press when they don’t agree with you? To lack kindness and humility? That’s what frightens me most about this president…that children will listen…and learn…and emulate his behaviour.

What also worries me is that he said his inauguration was going to be “a great show.” Those words are very revealing. I guess that’s the world he comes from…reality TV. Does he think of the presidency as another show? He tweets about ratings. He basks in the applause. There’s no coherent discussion of policy.

This man who would be king doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of the job he is about to undertake. The Obama administration left 275 briefing papers…it would be nice if he read some of them. He doesn’t even know what he doesn’t know…and that should make everybody feel very unsafe.

Sometimes, I have to admit, I do feel bad for him…what must it be like to feel so wounded at the slightest criticism…to be so insecure that he has to lash out immediately with crass and cruel personal attacks. He must feel terrible that coming into office he has the lowest approval ratings of any president in history. But he doesn’t seem to examine that, or change his behavior. He just gets more defensive.

What’s important to this president, as I heard him say on TV early on, is winning. It’s about beating the other guy or gal.

I thought maybe he would rise to the occasion in his inaugural address. But it was just another version of his divisive, apocalyptic campaign speech. It was shockingly small and uninspiring. There was no grace or generosity.

And then there are Trump’s appointees from the far right of the Republican Party, who can’t wait to reverse the progress of the last 8 years. The Republicans are eager to take away health insurance from 20 million people. Trump will appoint a conservative Supreme Court justice who will be a threat to all our rights…women’s rights…voting rights. And just look at the White House website today. They have already taken down the civil rights page, the LGBT page, and the climate change page. And they are determined to defund Planned Parenthood, which supplies health care to the women who need it most.

That’s why we’re here today.

Gender inequity has always been an unspoken and tacitly accepted practice in our society. We have, as a culture, normalized violence against women…we have normalized the wage gap…we have accepted men legislating what we can and cannot do with our bodies, even in cases of rape and incest…we have enabled a culture of sexual harassment of women for years. Even when it comes to the treatment of women in medical research, we are not valued as equal.

Donald Trump, a man who has a legacy of disrespecting women, now holds the most powerful seat in the world. His election reflects openly what has been hidden in the shadows for some time—that in many ways women are still second-class citizens in the 21st century.

But this also presents a real opportunity for social change. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to rise up again.

People of all races, sexual identities, and religions are out in the streets today across the country. It’s thrilling to see so many people who care so deeply, and are making their voices heard. We are saying that we will not sit by as our rights are stripped away. We will not hide as the freedoms of others are destroyed.

By coming out today, we can engage in a deep, honest dialogue about how to reach real equality…and change the playing field, from the classroom to the boardroom and, God willing, in the not so distant future—the Oval Office! But because of the antiquated Electoral College, we don’t yet have a woman president…with another perspective…expansive, experienced, and most of all, extremely intelligent.

You know, before you can drive a car, you have to pass a test. Maybe you should have to pass a test to become President of the United States…a test in civics, American history, domestic and foreign policy…perhaps have a psychological evaluation!

All I really know is we must continue to speak out. When you refuse to back down, when you refuse to be silenced, when you demand equality for yourself and your fellow men and women…you will be heard in the end. We can’t give up.

Today is the beginning of a new movement to hold power accountable to the truth.

Thank you.

[sherristockman]

Photobiomodulation Shows Great Promise for Athletes, Chronic Pain Syndromes and More Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Light is perhaps one of the most underappreciated healing agents available. James Carroll, an expert in light as therapy, also known as photobiomodulation, has the ambitious goal of making photobiomodulation a first-line therapy for 100 diseases in 100 countries, by the time he's 100 years old — which is about 45 years from now. Carroll has already spent the last 30 years of his life investigating the healing power of light — a passion that grew out of his involvement with the tissue repair research unit at Guy's Hospital in London in the 80s. At the time, he had a business raising government grant money, and Guy’s Hospital was one of his clients. He was able to see some of the work they were doing on cells and small rodents using lasers. “I thought, this is amazing; this is going to be in every corner of every department of every hospital in the whole world within the next five years,” Carroll says. While the technology didn’t catch on as quickly as he’d imagined, his enthusiasm for it led to a change in careers as he went to work for the laser company supplying the technology for the research. From Lasers to LEDs In those earlier days, most light therapy made use of lasers, as light-emitting diodes (LEDs) were not readily available back then. Some of the first lasers Carroll used operated in the 15 milliwatts range. Over time, the lasers got increasingly stronger. Today, 30-watts LED diodes are quite common. (An important point to be made is that the LEDs used for light therapy are not identical to LED lighting used in homes and offices. The LEDs used in photobiomodulation technologies typically have a very focused and narrow wavelength and cannot be used for lighting a room.) That’s not to say that more power is better. On the contrary, there’s a Goldilock’s Zone in which most of the therapeutic effects are found. According to Carroll, cells respond optimally to a range between 5 and 50 milliwatts per centimeter squared (mW/cm2). “If you want to have successful in vitro studies, that's where you need to be. Similar doses seem to work in superficial wound healing and inflammation, and unless you're going for deeper targets, that's usually enough.” As for timing, as little as one minute will typically render results. An average treatment is typically in the 10 to 20-minute range. Most modern light therapy products are in the 600 to 1000 nanometer (nm) range, with a gap around the 700s. A number of studies have suggested the 700-nm range has no beneficial health effects, although the issue has not been definitively settled as of yet. There’s still a lot to learn, but great headway is being made. According to Carroll, about 500 randomized controlled human clinical trials and some 4,000 laboratory studies have already been published on photobiomodulation, and each month approximately 30 new papers are added to this body of literature. Carroll has developed a database where he collects studies and so far, he has over 80,000 studies in this database on photobiomodulation. NovoTHOR Improves Athletic Recovery Carroll makes a photobiomodulation unit called the NovoTHOR, which has been shown to produce incredible health benefits but is not designed for individual use as it costs $120,000. I've used a less expensive version called Joovv that has red- and near-infrared frequencies to treat myself nearly every day before my far-infrared sauna. Interestingly, Alberto Salazar, who was the U.S. Olympic track coach is a fan of photobiomodulation and purchased a NovoTHOR. Many Olympic athletes, including most of the American track team, began using the NovoTHOR prior to the Rio Olympics. It’s currently being used in the Nike Oregon Project,1 the mission of which is to: “Develop the best distance runners in the world with our metric for success being Olympic and World Championship medals.” “Alberto Salazar has always been trying to pioneer ways of getting people to train harder, longer, and recover faster. He says recovery, on a scale of 1 to 10, is a 10. It's as important as the training itself, he says. It's critical to their success as a team, and he feels that [photobiomodulation] is the best therapy he's ever used for recovery,” Carroll says. Photobiomodulation has also been shown to increase muscle strength when used in conjunction with strength training. According to Carroll, weight lifters report exceeding their best competition scores even during normal training. “And where they've been stuck for years at a certain weight, they're going way beyond it,” he says. Another area where photobiomodulation is showing great promise is in the treatment of burns. While there are few scientific studies to back up such claims, the anecdotal evidence consistently shows it can provide rapid and lasting pain relief. “It's not a temporary kind of pain relief,” Carroll says. “The scars heal much better and anybody who's got a low-level laser photobimodulation product, who's tried it on burns, will tell you the same. It's consistently amazing, so it is a disappointment that burn units are not using it.” Light Therapy May Benefit Those With Kidney Failure, Including Pets In a previous interview with Michael Hamblin, Ph.D., he mentioned that some people have successfully used light therapy to treat kidney failure. Some have been able to get off dialysis and no longer need a kidney transplant, which is a rather remarkable success. Carroll adds further anecdotal support to this, saying he knows of a veterinarian who has been treating kidney disease in animals using photobiomodulation. In cats, by the time you get a diagnosis of kidney disease the disease is typically quite advanced and they only have a few months left to live. Using photobiomodulation, this veterinarian has been able to extend the life of many of these animals by several years. An added boon is the lack of adverse side effects. Some conditions may feel worse before they get better, but most studies have found there are very few if any side effects. As noted by Carroll, “They report the same number of side effects in the placebo group as the treatment group, which basically tells you it's not a side effect at all.” Some of the most exciting areas of use is in the treatment of central nervous system disorders, ranging from multiple sclerosis and traumatic brain injuries to Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s. This was discussed at length in my previous interview with Dr. Lew Lim. Photobiomodulation can also be used in the treatment of dry, age-related macular degeneration (AMD), which is the No. 1 cause of blindness in the elderly. “I'm a co-founder of Lumithera, which is another light therapy company, and it has developed a device specifically for treating diseases of the eye. Our first target has been dry AMD … Nothing has been proven to be effective for treating dry AMD … Our first study showed that in 129 patients there were up to three lines of improvement on the Snellen eye chart. Nothing else does that. A more recent study (again without a control group) on 41 eyes, we did optical coherence tomography as well, and showed that the drusens, which are the deposits in the back of the eye that are the hallmark of this disease, are receding … We're optimistic that we're going to have the first randomized controlled clinical trial that will lead to [photobiomodulation] potentially being the first line of treatment for dry AMD, for which nothing else works,” Carroll says. Many Pain Syndromes Can Be Safely Alleviated With Photobiomodulation While the full-sized NovoTHOR unit is priced beyond what most people can afford, selling for about $120,000, they offer a less expensive desktop unit. It consists of a console with sockets you can plug various accessories into for different types of spot treatment. Accessories include intra-oral laser probes for analgesia, extra-oral probes that can be used for any area except the oral cavity and probes designed specifically for myofascial trigger points and superficial healing of injuries and wounds. They also have a contract with the U.S. Veterans Administration to develop a helmet, which will be used for research on traumatic brain injuries and Alzheimer’s. Dentists, it turns out, have shown great interest in PBM, as it can effectively alleviate oral pain. Carroll actually used the intra-oral device on himself in lieu of local anesthesia during the extraction of a molar. “It did hurt, but it's tolerable pain. So, if you treat along the nerves and over the neck — over the cell bodies for the trigeminal ganglion, which are located in the neck — then yes, you can reduce dental pain,” he says. “I know dentists are excited about that. I'm more excited about [being able to treat] chronic pain, neuropathic pain, things like shingles and postherpetic neuralgia, trigeminal neuralgia, shingles around the orbit of the eye and in your hair, burning mouth syndrome … You know, people commit suicide when they have diseases like these and therefore it's a priority for me to work with specialists in oral-facial pain and to develop these therapies. It feels like the most important place to be, in many ways … So, what I find more exciting is when we're actually solving peoples' chronic pain.” How Does Light Therapy Work? So, how is it that light, in certain frequencies, can have such profound clinical benefits? While there are a number of different mechanisms, the one that explains most of the effects seen clinically is the cytochrome c oxidase mechanism, which can be summarized as follows: When you breathe, the oxygen in your lungs is taken up by hemoglobin, which in turn is carried around your body by red blood cells. The red blood cells deliver the oxygen to every single cell in your body. Similarly, when you eat, the food is broken down into glucose, fats and glycogen, and that glucose is delivered to every single cell in your body as well. Once it has been transferred across the cell membrane, the glucose is then broken down through glycolysis into ATP and pyruvate. Mitochondria take the pyruvate and break it down further. The resulting byproducts — ATP, FADH and NADH — are then combined with oxygen in the electron transport chain, which creates hydrogen ions that drive ATP synthase. Normally, the terminal ends on the electron transport chain — the cytochrome c oxidase — is taking up NADH combining it with oxygen and allowing two more electrons to be transferred from the electron transport chain. That pumps hydrogen ions through to drive ATP synthase to make ATP. This process works quite well when you’re healthy. However, when you get sick, injured, stressed or old, the mitochondria begin to make excessive amounts of nitric oxide. How Light Therapy Corrects Molecular Mechanisms Gone Awry While nitric oxide has certain health benefits, when excessive nitric oxide is produced, excessive free radicals are also produced. Nitric oxide binds preferentially to cytochrome c oxidase and stops the consumption of oxygen, which means you then stop making the hydrogen ions that drive ATP synthase. But that isn’t the biggest problem. A more significant problem is that now you have a “constipated” electron transport chain because the last two electrons cannot be passed from cytochrome c to cytochrome oxidase, and this backlog of electrons in the electron transport chain lead to the production of super oxide and hydrogen peroxide. In other words, excess oxidation. Some of the super oxide and hydrogen peroxide will leak out of the mitochondria into the cell, where it starts the processes of inflammation and cell death. Inside the mitochondria, super oxide and hydrogen peroxide will also damage the mitochondria, triggering mitochondrial dysfunction, which we now know is a foundational problem in most chronic disease. “The wonderful thing is that light, in the kind of wavelengths we're using, at the kind of intensity we're using, seem to basically break the bond between nitric oxide and cytochrome c oxidase. The light is flushing out the nitric oxide from cytochrome c oxidase, so now you can start consuming oxygen again, combining with NADH and electrons now pulsing from cytochrome c to cytochrome oxidase again, and you start making ATP. The cause of the constipated electron transport chain is gone and therefore you stop making too many of these reactive oxygen species that lead to inflammation and cell death,” Carroll says. “The shorter version of all of that is, basically, when we put light of the right wavelength and intensity into people for the right amount of time, the right intervals, we tip the balance … in favor of more ATP and less oxidative stress. And under those circumstances, people get better quicker.” Why Some Studies Fail to Show Beneficial Results When it comes to light therapy, even though you’re “just” using light, the dosage does matter. It’s actually quite easy, and common, to overtreat. Optimal results are obtained within a rather narrow range. Unfortunately, many researchers even fail to understand this. Many researchers also only talk about the total energy delivery, when in fact the rate of delivery is actually more important. Disturbingly, a number of studies have also failed to show a benefit for photobiomodulation simply due to mathematical errors. “Yes, there are researchers who are overtreating and not getting the results they were hoping for. We got researchers who are not testing the lasers before they do studies, and those that do test the lasers don't actually measure the beam area correctly … You need scientists and all the right kinds of engineers to know how to do this, but people who are not trained in physics unfortunately are doing tests on lasers and they're really not qualified and educated in the right way to actually, adequately, operate these things, and then they report negative findings. Sometimes they're just reporting the total dose without explaining [the rate of delivery]. If they gave 4 joules per centimeter squared, was it a 4-watt laser for one second? That could have been, but of course that's not going to work, or was it something else? Doing these therapies have the same principles as cooking, in that you have to get the temperature right and then you put the food in the oven for the right amount of time. Your favorite TV chef does not tell you to cook this chicken with 1 million joules per centimeter squared. That wouldn't tell you what the temperature of the oven is and how long you must cook it. You should not join those two numbers together in cooking, and you shouldn't do it in this therapy either. But too many scientist are actually just giving you the one [measurement]. ‘Here, use 4 joules per centimeter,’ without appreciating that how fast you deliver it is necessary [to know] to get the dose right.” Light Therapy Is an Excellent Adjunct to Other Mitochondrial Therapies If you are even half as interested in PBM and using light as a healing tool then you would absolutely enjoy attending one of Carroll’s one-day teaching events as he is one of the most knowledgeable people I have encountered in this area. I was able to really improve my understanding in this area thanks to his excellent teaching. I believe light therapy can be a very powerful tool, and it aligns really well with the dietary aspect of oxidative stress that I discuss in my book, “Fat for Fuel,” which is that when you burn sugar as your primary fuel, you create about 30 percent more oxidative damage than when you’re burning fat. Avoiding electromagnetic fields (EMFs) is another important aspect, as EMFs also cause harm by increasing oxidative stress. In fact, EMFs cause more oxidative damage than ionizing radiation, even though the EMF typically doesn't have anywhere near the amount of energy that ionizing radiation has. The reason for this was explained in-depth in my interview with Martin Pall, Ph.D., who has identified and published research describing the likely molecular mechanisms of how EMFs from cellphones and wireless technologies damage plants, animals and humans. When you combine EMF remediation efforts with photobiomodulation and optimal fuel intake (i.e., a diet high in healthy fats, low in carbs with moderate protein), you've got a triple win, and you can really optimize mitochondrial function, which is the end game.

[gothfoxx]

In kindergarten Marin had a habit of crying with every emotion. Sad? Cry. Mad? Cry. Happy? Cry. and so on. Chloe was the daughter of a politician and a fashion guru, she had been taught from the very beginning of her sentience that crying was a sign of weakness. (Whining was different though whining was like complaining, it got you things) So when little Chloé saw little Marin cry because the flower he wanted to pick got stepped on she pointed it out and called him a crybaby. Soon that was what everyone called the poor boy, it didn’t help that being called names made him cry more.

Years later Marin was still a sensitive boy but he had better reign over his emotions. That didn’t stop Chloé from finding new ways to poke fun and tease the poor kid. He was shorter than the other boys and some of the girls, he wore his long hair in a bun like a librarian, and he loved adding extra lace and frills to his button-downs. All this things led to the blonde tormenting the bluenett.

It had lessened up as of late because Marin wasn’t around as often to pick on, being Laddybug was a tough job. Which led to his present time predicament. The maid-service Akuma had copied Chat’s power and delt a painful blow to Marin’s side causing the earrings to drain quickly. The hotel had many rooms but there was no telling if there would be anyone to let him into on to recharge...unless to went to the always occupied penthouse that Chloé called home. Thus he found himself knocking on her door hoping this wouldn’t bite him in the butt.

“Oh my god Jeeves don’t you know this is my daily facial time!? What is so import-“ the complaint dies when the blonde sees who is come a calling. She gapes like a fish out of water a moment before jumping to his aid and dragging him to the bed. “What happened to you? I thought the supersuits protected you guys!?” She gasps out looking at the amount of blood that darkened the red of his costume into a wine color. He groans in pain instead of answering and she makes a mad dash to the bath for towels and a bowl of warm water. “We have to clean it and then p-put pressure on it to stop the b-bleeding.” She mumbles to herself as she goes through the steps of making sure the wound is clear. “W-w-where did you lorn that?” He slurs back, he found her stuttering delightfully amusing at the moment, she also smelled like milk and honey lotion. “That’s because that’s the kind of lotion I use you silly bug now lay still!” And oops he must have said that out loud, he missed the cute stutter but in command Chloé was kinda hot too.

He must have said that out loud too because her face had gone really red and she had stopped talking. He likes his color on her, it looked pretty he should make her a outfit with red in it. Maybe she’d like him if he did that. “You need, need, you need something red cause red is pretty and you are pretty. Did you know that Chloé? I always thought so.” He giggles. In some part of his mind to registers beeping but he doesn’t care, right now the girl that always teased him was being nice and taking care of him and holding him in her bed. “Oh no, I should have brought flowers. I came to your room and I didn’t even bring flowers!” He tried to say but his speech was slurred and muffles by his hand covering his face. A flash of pink and a blob of red make him remember why he was there, “Pretty pretty Chloé and I pretty pretty please steal something sweet?” He asked, or again tried to, it came out more slurred and wetter than before.

Tikki was in a tizzy. Her holder was hurt, barely keeping his identity hidden(with his hand), and at the rate he was bleeding they didn’t have long before he went into shock. She zeroed in one the only coherent person in the room. “Cookies, cakes, sugar, anything sweet now!” She demanded, leaving no room for fear or confusion to trip up the girl. The human keeping her holder alive looked over to the night stand where a plate of chocolate cream horns sat. Tikki didn’t hesitate to gobble them all quickly and turn to her holder, “say the words!” She ordered. Marin just mumbled at the offending noise. The little red Kwami flew over and slapped her holder, “say the magic world right now!” And to his credit Marin did get out the ‘Tikki spots on’ but not before uncovering his face to a very nervous Chloé.

Before Chloé could try and convince him to stay or say anything to the bug themed hero, Laddybug had moved off the bed and into the hallway. She sat there on the blood stained bed clutching blood soaked towels and thought not for the first time that she messed up. The guy she had a crush on was also the guy she make the class’s verbal punching bag. Sure she had given up on making fun of him herself over the last year but people were not fast to follow trends and hadn’t picked up on her new act of apathy towards the boy. It was her fault that the most amazing person in her whole life probably hated her. But he also called her pretty and hot and thought her stutter was cute instead of ugly. How can someone be so sweet and kind and emotional be so very strong? Maybe mommy and daddy were wrong about being weak, they sure seemed wrong about love. She walked to the bathroom and washed the blood from her hands, she looked up to the mirror. “I’ll wear red tomorrow.” She told herself as little magic ladybugs set the world right once more.

Another Chloe X Marin prompt, a fight in the hotel got Ladybug injured to a point that can't be cured by the magical ladybugs and he is getting weaker due to the pain and the closest place is Chloe's hotel room. His choice is to knock on the door of his childhood bully and ask for her secrecy and help.

I like this. Idk how to go about it tbh.